The Shy Man Syndrome

Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It

Brian G. Gilmartin

Love-shyness is a degree of social inhibition and timidity regarding the opposite sex that it is so severe it prevents participation in courtship, marriage, and family roles. It is estimated that 1.7 million American males suffer from love-shyness. These virginal, heterosexual men desire an intimate, committed relationship with a woman, but their acute timidity in informal social situations prevents them from asserting themselves.

The Shy Man Syndrome is the first book aimed at a general audience to address this problem and offer ways to overcome it. Dr. Brian Gilmartin uses landmark text, Shyness and Love, as a basis for this work. For it, more than 300 chronically-shy, virginal men, between the ages of 19 and 50, were interviewed and tested. A second group, consisting of 200 non-shy men, was also studied. The Shy Man Syndrome contains the findings of this research, as well as therapeutic and preventative approaches for dealing with this debilitating affliction.

We learn about the past family life of the love-shy mean; their school life during formative years; sexual development; medical symptoms; and psychological traits. We then witness treatments such as practice-dating therapy; psychodrama; role playing; visualization; and self-image therapy. The results of the study are presented in an absorbing manner that makes for fascinating, illuminating, and instructive reading.

Madison Books

Pages: 228 • Trim: 5¾ x 9

978-1-56833-269-7 • Paperback • April 2014 • $15.95 • (£11.95)

Subjects: Psychology / Interpersonal Relations, Family & Relationships / Interpersonal Relations, Family & Relationships / Love & Romance, Self-Help / Personal Growth / Self-Esteem

The Shy Man Syndrome

Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It

Paperback

Summary

Love-shyness is a degree of social inhibition and timidity regarding the opposite sex that it is so severe it prevents participation in courtship, marriage, and family roles. It is estimated that 1.7 million American males suffer from love-shyness. These virginal, heterosexual men desire an intimate, committed relationship with a woman, but their acute timidity in informal social situations prevents them from asserting themselves.

The Shy Man Syndrome is the first book aimed at a general audience to address this problem and offer ways to overcome it. Dr. Brian Gilmartin uses landmark text, Shyness and Love, as a basis for this work. For it, more than 300 chronically-shy, virginal men, between the ages of 19 and 50, were interviewed and tested. A second group, consisting of 200 non-shy men, was also studied. The Shy Man Syndrome contains the findings of this research, as well as therapeutic and preventative approaches for dealing with this debilitating affliction.

We learn about the past family life of the love-shy mean; their school life during formative years; sexual development; medical symptoms; and psychological traits. We then witness treatments such as practice-dating therapy; psychodrama; role playing; visualization; and self-image therapy. The results of the study are presented in an absorbing manner that makes for fascinating, illuminating, and instructive reading.

Details

Madison Books

Pages: 228 • Trim: 5¾ x 9

978-1-56833-269-7 • Paperback • April 2014 • $15.95 • (£11.95)

Subjects: Psychology / Interpersonal Relations, Family & Relationships / Interpersonal Relations, Family & Relationships / Love & Romance, Self-Help / Personal Growth / Self-Esteem

Author

Dr. Brian Gilmartin, a professor of Sociology at East Tennessee State University, has worked with the love-shy for more than ten years. He is also the author of Shyness and Love: Causes, Consequences and Treatment and How to Excel at Parenting: 33 Proven Success Strategies.

Table of Contents

Foreword
1. The Problem of Love-Shyness
2. The Biological Bases of Shyness
3. Societal Reactions and Elastic Limits
4. How the Information was Obtained
5. Intrauterine Antecedents
6. Family Composition
7. Parenting Practices and Love-Shyness
8. How the All-Male Peer Group Creates Shy Men
9. Preadolescent Love and Infatuation
10. Sex and the Love-Shy
11. Obsessions, Compulsions, and Interpersonal Anxiety
12. Medical Symptoms and Sensitivities
13. Therapy
14. Some Recommendations Concerning Careers for Love-Shys
15. Some Final Thoughts on Prevention
Appendix 1. The Survey of Heterosexual Interactions
Appendix 2. The Gilmartin Love-Shy Scale
Bibliography
Index

Reviews

Dr. Gilmartin grabs the shy by the hand and leads interference at bulldozing down the papier-mâché monsters that plague the shy person as he or she fights to survive in a seemingly social world of happy, self-confident ‘party’ people.

— E. Michael Gutman, President, Florida Psychological Society

The Shy Man Syndrome

Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It

Brian G. Gilmartin

The Shy Man Syndrome

Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It

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