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Sexy Selfie Nation

Standing Up for Yourself in Today's Toxic, Sexist Culture

Leora Tanenbaum

Chances are that you are getting it all wrong.

In this eye-opening new work, slut-shaming expert Leora Tanenbaum explains that when we criticize young women for wearing body-revealing outfits and sharing sexy selfies, we are losing the plot.

The problem is not with the actions young women take but with the toxic, sexist conditions they are responding to.

Young people are sick of being held responsible for others’ inability to keep their eyes off their bodies. They explain that most of the time, they aren’t even trying to sexualize themselves—and, when they do, they are taking control over their bodily autonomy and standing up for themselves.

Tanenbaum demonstrates that “sexy” does not mean “inviting sex,” and that when young women and nonbinary people embrace a sexualized aesthetic or post sexy pictures, they do so on their own terms.

In choosing to wear body-revealing clothing and posting sexy selfies, young people are taking a stand for themselves and against three pillars of nonconsensual sexualization that shape their daily lives:

  • Gendered dress codes, which allow teachers and administrators to scrutinize and comment on girls’ bodies;
  • Nonconsensual sharing of intimate images (“revenge porn” and “deepfakes”), which portray girls and women as sexual objects deserving of public humiliation;
  • The aftermath of sexual harassment and assault, when victims are told—still today, even after #MeToo—that they were “asking for it.”

There’s nothing wrong with taking and sharing intimate pictures. There’s nothing wrong with feeling good about one’s body. Everyone should be able to stand up for themselves, experience a sense of bodily autonomy, and shape and share their image on their own terms.

If you like cultural criticism that supports women of all identities, then you'll love Sexy Selfie Nation.

  • Details
  • Details
  • Author
  • Author
  • TOC
  • TOC
  • Reviews
  • Reviews
Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Pages: 312 • Trim: 5½ x 8½
978-1-5381-9400-3 • Hardback • May 2025 • $27.95 • (£19.99)
978-1-5381-9401-0 • eBook • May 2025 • $26.50 • (£19.99) (coming soon)
Subjects: Social Science / Women's Studies, Health & Fitness / Sexuality, Social Science / Feminism & Feminist Theory

Leora Tanenbaum began researching and writing about slut-shaming before the term even existed. Her first book, Slut! Growing Up Female With a Bad Reputation, is regarded as a significant contribution to feminist thought and the foundational text on slut-shaming. She has written for The New York Times, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, New York Daily News, The Nation, and U.S. News & World Report and has been a guest on Oprah, The Today Show, Nightline, Bill Maher, Fox News, MSNBC, and National Public Radio.

Introduction

Part I. Too Sexy for Your Shirt: Cultural and Historical Context for the Environment Today

Chapter 1: The Paradox of the Subway Shirt

Chapter 2: Why We Wear Revealing Clothes

Chapter 3: You Should Have Seen the Flappers

Part II. Everyone’s Eyes on Your Body: Three Toxic, Sexist Conditions Shaping Young People’s Lives

Chapter 4: Growing Up with Gendered Dress Codes

Chapter 5: Growing Up with Image-Based Sexual Abuse (“Revenge Porn” and “Deepfakes”)

Chapter 6: Growing Up Blamed for Sexual Harassment and Assault

Part III. Girls and Women 14-21: Wresting Control: How Sharing Sexy Selfies Can Be Positive or Pernicious

Chapter 7: Sexy Selfies

Chapter 8: The Unsexy Side of Sexy Selfies

Chapter 9: The Cost of Being Instafamous

Part IV. Women 22-30: The OnlyFans Generation: Why Monetizing Sexy Selfies Is Rewarding for Some, Risky for All

Chapter 10: When Selling Your Sexy Selfies is Healing

Chapter 11: When Your Monetized Sexy Selfies Are Stolen

Conclusion

Appendix: Selected Resources

About the Author

Leora Tanenbaum called out “slut-shaming” 25 years ago. She was right then, and she’s right today. The book's most important insight is that when girls and women decide to stand up for themselves, this decision can come at a cost. Tanenbaum explains this challenge and offers advice for girls and women, mothers and fathers, on how to handle the sexist culture that remains a threat to girls and women everywhere. Read this book, and then buy another copy for the young person in your life.


— Karen Hinton, author of Penis Politics: A Memoir of Women, Men, and Power


Looking at women’s engagements with sexy clothing, racy selfies, and OnlyFans accounts, Leora Tanenbaum explains in this thoughtful, sensitive, and highly captivating book the benefits and dangers of sexualizing women’s bodies. Using both historical examples and numerous interviews, it offers a map and advice on how to navigate today’s toxic culture of social media, commercial objectification, and slut-shaming. Sexy Selfie Nation is a must and timely read to all those who want to understand the increasingly complicated reality where sex and sexuality can be empowering and a feminist means of resistance, while also pointing to the social dangers these practices entail.


— Einav Rabinovitch-Fox, PhD, author of Dressed for Freedom: The Fashionable Politics of American Feminism


Have you ever wondered why a young person that you care about dresses like that or posts a selfie with cleavage, bedroom eyes, and tousled hair? I was gripped by Tanenbaum's powerful argument about sexy selfies as an act of resistance against gender-unequal dress coding, image-based sexual abuse, and other forms of unwanted sexualization. Her argument that "being harassed or assaulted may lead you to wear revealing clothing and post sexy selfies," will change how you think about crop tops and short shorts. Rather than lecturing young people about what they wear and post, we should respond to the actual bad behavior: policymakers' inaction on digital privacy and dress-code double standards.

Sexy Selfie Nation presents a nuanced understanding of a confusing (to older adults) set of phenomena, helping readers see that “sexy selfies can sometimes be empowering for individual women” but also that“sexy selfies can backfire against women as a class of people” and that while the “monetization of sexy selfies is rewarding for some,” it's also “risky for all.” I could not put this book down and highlighted probably ever other sentence. “Remember that sexuality is not the problem; violation of consent is the problem.” One of this year's must-reads.


— Jennifer S. Hirsch, PhD, coauthor of Sexual Citizens: Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus


‘There will never be a day in my entire lifetime that all of the images of me could ever be deleted.’ These words, quoted by Leora Tanenbaum in Sexy Selfie Nation, highlight the egregious theft of control and consent that survivors of image-based sexual abuse experience. Tanenbaum also correctly points the finger at the tech companies that facilitate, promote, and profit off the abuse of their users. Whether it is a pedophile commenting that a five-year-old looks ‘so sexy’ in her bikini or a cloud company distributing stolen explicit images, Tanenbaum includes an array of disturbing instances of Big Tech making the safety of their consumers a ‘non-goal.’ The diversity of expertise included, centering of survivors, and foregrounding of nuance make this book an educational and engaging read for anyone trying to make sense of the paradoxical pressures placed on women expected to be ‘sexy, just not slutty.’


— Carrie Goldberg, victims' rights lawyer and author of Nobody's Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls


Leora Tanenbaum’s Sexy Selfie Nation raises new and important topics like the idea of sexual assault via one's image—a chilling yet timely concept—and enough double standards facing young women today to make a reader's head spin. Anyone who picks up this book will walk away with a clear sense of how complicated it is to walk the world in a woman's body—and even more so as each day passes. Best of all, Tanenbaum has practical solutions and advice that will cross generations. This is a book for anyone who cares about women and girls—which is to say, this is a book for everyone.


— Donna Freitas, author of Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention and Consent on Campus: A Manifesto


A crucial book for this moment. Young people and those who care for them need to read this book! We need to stop criminalizing and shaming kids and find ways to respect, support, and empower them as they come of age in their digital world.


— Devorah Heitner, author of Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World


Sexy Selfie Nation

Standing Up for Yourself in Today's Toxic, Sexist Culture

Cover Image
Hardback
Summary
Summary
  • Chances are that you are getting it all wrong.

    In this eye-opening new work, slut-shaming expert Leora Tanenbaum explains that when we criticize young women for wearing body-revealing outfits and sharing sexy selfies, we are losing the plot.

    The problem is not with the actions young women take but with the toxic, sexist conditions they are responding to.

    Young people are sick of being held responsible for others’ inability to keep their eyes off their bodies. They explain that most of the time, they aren’t even trying to sexualize themselves—and, when they do, they are taking control over their bodily autonomy and standing up for themselves.

    Tanenbaum demonstrates that “sexy” does not mean “inviting sex,” and that when young women and nonbinary people embrace a sexualized aesthetic or post sexy pictures, they do so on their own terms.

    In choosing to wear body-revealing clothing and posting sexy selfies, young people are taking a stand for themselves and against three pillars of nonconsensual sexualization that shape their daily lives:

    • Gendered dress codes, which allow teachers and administrators to scrutinize and comment on girls’ bodies;
    • Nonconsensual sharing of intimate images (“revenge porn” and “deepfakes”), which portray girls and women as sexual objects deserving of public humiliation;
    • The aftermath of sexual harassment and assault, when victims are told—still today, even after #MeToo—that they were “asking for it.”

    There’s nothing wrong with taking and sharing intimate pictures. There’s nothing wrong with feeling good about one’s body. Everyone should be able to stand up for themselves, experience a sense of bodily autonomy, and shape and share their image on their own terms.

    If you like cultural criticism that supports women of all identities, then you'll love Sexy Selfie Nation.

Details
Details
  • Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
    Pages: 312 • Trim: 5½ x 8½
    978-1-5381-9400-3 • Hardback • May 2025 • $27.95 • (£19.99)
    978-1-5381-9401-0 • eBook • May 2025 • $26.50 • (£19.99) (coming soon)
    Subjects: Social Science / Women's Studies, Health & Fitness / Sexuality, Social Science / Feminism & Feminist Theory
Author
Author
  • Leora Tanenbaum began researching and writing about slut-shaming before the term even existed. Her first book, Slut! Growing Up Female With a Bad Reputation, is regarded as a significant contribution to feminist thought and the foundational text on slut-shaming. She has written for The New York Times, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, New York Daily News, The Nation, and U.S. News & World Report and has been a guest on Oprah, The Today Show, Nightline, Bill Maher, Fox News, MSNBC, and National Public Radio.

Table of Contents
Table of Contents
  • Introduction

    Part I. Too Sexy for Your Shirt: Cultural and Historical Context for the Environment Today

    Chapter 1: The Paradox of the Subway Shirt

    Chapter 2: Why We Wear Revealing Clothes

    Chapter 3: You Should Have Seen the Flappers

    Part II. Everyone’s Eyes on Your Body: Three Toxic, Sexist Conditions Shaping Young People’s Lives

    Chapter 4: Growing Up with Gendered Dress Codes

    Chapter 5: Growing Up with Image-Based Sexual Abuse (“Revenge Porn” and “Deepfakes”)

    Chapter 6: Growing Up Blamed for Sexual Harassment and Assault

    Part III. Girls and Women 14-21: Wresting Control: How Sharing Sexy Selfies Can Be Positive or Pernicious

    Chapter 7: Sexy Selfies

    Chapter 8: The Unsexy Side of Sexy Selfies

    Chapter 9: The Cost of Being Instafamous

    Part IV. Women 22-30: The OnlyFans Generation: Why Monetizing Sexy Selfies Is Rewarding for Some, Risky for All

    Chapter 10: When Selling Your Sexy Selfies is Healing

    Chapter 11: When Your Monetized Sexy Selfies Are Stolen

    Conclusion

    Appendix: Selected Resources

    About the Author

Reviews
Reviews
  • Leora Tanenbaum called out “slut-shaming” 25 years ago. She was right then, and she’s right today. The book's most important insight is that when girls and women decide to stand up for themselves, this decision can come at a cost. Tanenbaum explains this challenge and offers advice for girls and women, mothers and fathers, on how to handle the sexist culture that remains a threat to girls and women everywhere. Read this book, and then buy another copy for the young person in your life.


    — Karen Hinton, author of Penis Politics: A Memoir of Women, Men, and Power


    Looking at women’s engagements with sexy clothing, racy selfies, and OnlyFans accounts, Leora Tanenbaum explains in this thoughtful, sensitive, and highly captivating book the benefits and dangers of sexualizing women’s bodies. Using both historical examples and numerous interviews, it offers a map and advice on how to navigate today’s toxic culture of social media, commercial objectification, and slut-shaming. Sexy Selfie Nation is a must and timely read to all those who want to understand the increasingly complicated reality where sex and sexuality can be empowering and a feminist means of resistance, while also pointing to the social dangers these practices entail.


    — Einav Rabinovitch-Fox, PhD, author of Dressed for Freedom: The Fashionable Politics of American Feminism


    Have you ever wondered why a young person that you care about dresses like that or posts a selfie with cleavage, bedroom eyes, and tousled hair? I was gripped by Tanenbaum's powerful argument about sexy selfies as an act of resistance against gender-unequal dress coding, image-based sexual abuse, and other forms of unwanted sexualization. Her argument that "being harassed or assaulted may lead you to wear revealing clothing and post sexy selfies," will change how you think about crop tops and short shorts. Rather than lecturing young people about what they wear and post, we should respond to the actual bad behavior: policymakers' inaction on digital privacy and dress-code double standards.

    Sexy Selfie Nation presents a nuanced understanding of a confusing (to older adults) set of phenomena, helping readers see that “sexy selfies can sometimes be empowering for individual women” but also that“sexy selfies can backfire against women as a class of people” and that while the “monetization of sexy selfies is rewarding for some,” it's also “risky for all.” I could not put this book down and highlighted probably ever other sentence. “Remember that sexuality is not the problem; violation of consent is the problem.” One of this year's must-reads.


    — Jennifer S. Hirsch, PhD, coauthor of Sexual Citizens: Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus


    ‘There will never be a day in my entire lifetime that all of the images of me could ever be deleted.’ These words, quoted by Leora Tanenbaum in Sexy Selfie Nation, highlight the egregious theft of control and consent that survivors of image-based sexual abuse experience. Tanenbaum also correctly points the finger at the tech companies that facilitate, promote, and profit off the abuse of their users. Whether it is a pedophile commenting that a five-year-old looks ‘so sexy’ in her bikini or a cloud company distributing stolen explicit images, Tanenbaum includes an array of disturbing instances of Big Tech making the safety of their consumers a ‘non-goal.’ The diversity of expertise included, centering of survivors, and foregrounding of nuance make this book an educational and engaging read for anyone trying to make sense of the paradoxical pressures placed on women expected to be ‘sexy, just not slutty.’


    — Carrie Goldberg, victims' rights lawyer and author of Nobody's Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls


    Leora Tanenbaum’s Sexy Selfie Nation raises new and important topics like the idea of sexual assault via one's image—a chilling yet timely concept—and enough double standards facing young women today to make a reader's head spin. Anyone who picks up this book will walk away with a clear sense of how complicated it is to walk the world in a woman's body—and even more so as each day passes. Best of all, Tanenbaum has practical solutions and advice that will cross generations. This is a book for anyone who cares about women and girls—which is to say, this is a book for everyone.


    — Donna Freitas, author of Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention and Consent on Campus: A Manifesto


    A crucial book for this moment. Young people and those who care for them need to read this book! We need to stop criminalizing and shaming kids and find ways to respect, support, and empower them as they come of age in their digital world.


    — Devorah Heitner, author of Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World


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