This diplomatic guide offers advice on how parents can navigate caring for a blended family. Expounding on dating after divorce, Blackstone recommends parents only introduce children to partners they’re serious about because kids crave consistency. She tackles the many issues parents should consider when creating a blended household, suggesting that parents wait to move in with a new partner’s family until they find a home with enough space to accommodate each child’s privacy needs, and that biological parents should set the rules for their kids while stepparents uphold them. Throughout, Blackstone entreats readers to approach everything, from establishing house rules to deflating tensions between an ex and new partner, by applying her ‘CARE’ (communication, acceptance, respect, and empathy) framework, which entails listening to the concerns of all involved, taking ‘each other’s backgrounds and history into consideration,’ respecting the opinions of others, and putting oneself in the other party’s shoes. The discerning advice covers how to manage an extensive range of scenarios—from splitting custody of children over holidays to resolving fights between stepsiblings and building relationships with stepchildren—with kindness and grace. Blackstone packs this encyclopedic manual full of insight.
— Publishers Weekly
Dr. Blackstone delivers an absolute must read for anyone looking to find the keys to co-parenting success and forming a blended, or better said, bonus family.
— Evan Schein, Esq., New York Family Law attorney and host of the Schein On podcast
Nearly 30 years ago, coparenting counselor and child-custody mediator Blackstone coined the term “bonus family” as an alternative to the word “stepfamily,” which often has negative connotations. Hernew book guides readers through how to best blend families and coparent. She writes from experience; she is friends with her husband’s former wife, and her child once asked (and wanted) their half-sibling’s mother to go on vacation with them. Her book shows that the keys to having a supportive, cohesive family unit (comprising previous and new relationships) relate to communication, acceptance, respect, and empathy, which she urges readers to remember as the acronym CARE. She offers tips for dating after a breakup, moving in together with a new partner and their children, collaborating with anex on raising kids, transforming mindsets, and more. Her book also addresses what to do when everyone comes together for weddings, commitment and religious ceremonies, and holidays—Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, for example—that can lead to tricky situations. She also mentions many other challenges that may be introduced to the household. This definitive practical guide addresses nearly every situation that bonus families might experience.
— Library Journal
As a family law attorney working with divorced or separated parents every day, I can't tell you how much a book like The Bonus Family Handbook is truly needed. It’s the perfect guide for struggling co-parents and their families, tackling the real issues and offering a practical formula to successfully combine families in the future. Pure Gold!
— Lisa Thiessen, MS, JD, Attorney at Law, Family Law Specialist, State of California
I am so thrilled that Jann has written another book for parents in bonusfamilies! Jann’s advice to parents is always practical and immediately actionable. In this book she teaches parents the enormous value of communication and respect, which are required in order to raise emotionally healthy children. This should be required reading for every parent that is part of a stepfamily. Thanks Jann!
— Susan Bartell, PsyD, child and family psychologist and author
Dr. Blackstone has created the ultimate guide on parenting in today's world of blended families. Her own parenting journey laying the groundwork. If you are frustrated, struggling or just need reassurance in your own journey, READ this book. It will take you from "step" to "bonus!"
— Sheila Ballin, JD, Director of Family Court Services, Family Law Facilitator (retired), Superior Court, State of California