Learn to talk back to denial and start telling yourself the truth – about yourself, others, and the world around you.
Denial is everywhere, keeping us from seeing reality and causing unhappiness and frustration. It can make things disappear in the blink of an eye. It can also convince you that you are seeing what you want to see even when it isn’t there, leading you to believe in nonsense along the way. People employ Denial because it makes their life easier in the moment. It even makes it appear to be better, the way you would like it to be, the way you wish it was, rather than what it actually is. Denial reassures you, tells you not to worry, it’s not that bad, it could be worse. But the truth is, it is a short-sighted solution, a quick fix, a temporary Band-Aid.
Am I Lying To Myself? helps readers squelch the tendency to let their own and others’ Denial rule their lives. This book takes readers through a series of real-world scenarios in which people find themselves mired in Denial. It will help you not only recognize Denial’s sneaky voice, but you will come away from each chapter with a useful skill that will help you address the Denial in your own life. After reading this book, it will become second nature to talk back to Denial with clarity and strength. This book will teach you how to do that. You will never lie to yourself again.
Jane Greer, PhD, is a nationally known marriage and family therapist, psychotherapist, sex expert, author, and host of the Doctor on Call radio hour at HealthyLife.net which features Shrink Wrap on Call, Pop Psych, and Let’s Talk Sex. She has appeared on many popular television shows including: The Today Show, Oprah, The Early Show, CBS News, CNN News, Anderson Cooper 360, Dateline NBC, 20/20, Good Day New York, and The View. She has contributed to magazines including Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Self, and has been interviewed for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, The Chicago Tribune, US Weekly, In Touch, Closer, Life & Style, Brides.com, and People. Greer was a contributing editor for Redbook magazine, where she also wrote the “Let’s Talk About Sex” column. She is the author of six books about navigating relationships. You can learn more about Dr. Greer at her website drjanegreer.com or follow her on Facebook and Instagram at Dr. Jane Greer. She lives and works in New York City.
Table of Contents
Chapter One – You’re The One For Me?
Chapter Two – You Need Your Space, I Should Be More Understanding
Chapter Three – Your Love Is Smothering Me
Chapter Four – You Told Me You Were Just Friends
Chapter Five – I Can Wait…For Us
Chapter Six – Maybe Tomorrow We’ll Have Sex
Chapter Seven - I Thought You Said You Would…Or You Wouldn’t –
Chapter Eight – Are You For Real?
Chapter Nine - You’re Driving Me Crazy
Chapter Ten – Why Are You Always So Angry?
Chapter Eleven – It’s Always Yes, But, With You…
If you ever want a book that will make you say, Thank God I’m not a therapist, this is it. Jane Greer listens to people who make questionable decisions so you don’t have to. In Am I Lying to Myself? the marriage and family counselor suggests, convincingly, that when it comes to relationships, being in a state of denial is probably the No. 1 factor in keeping us in a rut. We need to face unpleasant and sometimes devastating truths to get on with our lives, and Greer breaks down the elements of denial into digestible components: wishing and hoping, missing the signs, believing what you’re told and turning a little into a lot. It’s extraordinary, really, the way denial can twist you in knots. Greer is terrific at telling stories about people in various denial-related quandaries – to the extent that she sparked my inner soap-opera fan – and now I’d like to know what happened to them all. But sometimes we do get to witness the breakthrough moments we hope for in our own lives, summed up perfectly by one patient who blessedly opted for divorce: “I can’t pretend to not know anymore what I now know.” Greer thinks that one deserves its own T-shirt. I’m with her.
Greer (What About Me?) has written a book for anyone who has experienced denial within
themselves or from other people. Describing denial as the “Houdini of the heart,” the author
addresses patterns of denial from small annoyances to the larger issues of infidelity and addiction. The book is written in two parts. The first focuses on how to recognize the different elements of denial—wishing and hoping, missing the signs, believing what you are told, turning a little into a lot. Part two examines how to cope with denial in other people. Greer bases her advice and suggestions on her years as a marriage and family therapist and relates the experience of her patients as examples of the multiple forms of denial. Written in a clear and understandable style without resorting to medical jargon, the experiences she shares are relatable and the advice she provides will help readers focus on patterns of denial and its impact on their lives. Highly recommended. Best for anyone interested in personal growth, self-help, and relationship issues.
Everyone needs to read this life-changing book! It’s a guarantee to help free you from denial and see the truth so that you can be your best self.
Everyone should read this book. Jane Greer persuasively details why it is time for us to stop avoiding our problems —-to finally FINALLY STOP living in denial. Dr. Greer’s insights let readers in on the secret of why she has helped so many people enrich their lives and find the joy of being in love. A must read to help your relationship and your life become what you always dreamed it could be.
OMG, I NEED this book! And so do you. And so does everybody else. Why? Because everybody knows what it’s like to feel stuck in a relationship, to keep repeating a pattern you know isn’t working, to be waiting and waiting for somebody who can’t commit—to be on the other side of the fence and listening to people who seem never to change. Dr. Jane Greer looks at the role denial plays in our behaviors—and shows you how to break free of the ones you don’t want. (And even if your life and relationships are perfect, because that happens so often, you’ll learn so much from this insightful psychological book
As Dr. Jane Greer brilliantly demonstrates in her new book, taking responsibility for one’s self is almost something of a personal art. It requires a thorough introspection of one’s self, in the process potentially facing challenging themes and memories that have led one to a state of cursed "Denial." In Am I Lying to Myself?, Dr. Greer knows how to effectively manipulate her presentational style to appeal to the widest possible audience.
4/13/23, Library Journal: This book is featured in the Life + Style Starred Reviews roundup.
4/4/23, The Good Men Project: Dr. Jane Greer wrote an article about dealing with family conflicts.
3/8/23, InnerSelf: Dr. Greer penned a piece about denial.
3/29/23, The Kathryn Zox Show: Dr. Greer is interviewed about the book.
4/5/23, I Do podcast: Dr. Greer discusses the book and offers relationship advice.
4/16/23, MSNBC: Jane Greer is interviewed on the Know Your Value program.
4/17/23, Overdrive: Jane Greer’s book is featured in this Mental Health Awareness curated collection post to Overdrive corporate customers.
6/15/23, Library Journal: Named to Library Journal’s Shining Stars: Best Self-Help Books of the Year (So Far)