Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Trim: 6 x 8¾
978-1-5381-3064-3 • Hardback • February 2020 • $30.00 • (£22.99)
978-1-5381-3065-0 • eBook • February 2020 • $28.50 • (£21.99)
Rachelle Katz, EdD, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than 30 years of experience and the author of The Happy Stepmother, a self-help book for stepmothers. In addition to working with individuals and couples, she also coaches stepmothers and their partners, runs a monthly support group for stepmothers, and conducts workshops for stepcouples. She has appeared as a guest on several cable network shows and podcasts to discuss stepfamily issues. Rachelle is a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and the American Psychological Association. She has been married for 28 years and has a 32-year-old stepdaughter. She and her husband live in New York City.
STEP 1: REVISE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
1 Stepfamily Fallacies
2 Expectations of Your Relationship
4 Redefine the Role of Stepparent
STEP 2: IMPROVE COMMUNICATION
5 The Relevance of Emotional Attachment Styles for Stepcouples
6 Understand Each Attachment Style and Its Unique Coping Reaction
7 The Clash of Emotional Attachment Styles
8 The Stepcouple Shuffle
9 Bolster Your Security Level
10 Modify Your Reactions
11 Don’t Let a Grudge Weigh You Down
12 Gain Courage to Express Feelings with Confidence
13 Communicate Effectively
14 Boost Your Partner’s Security
15 Go Gently into Conflict
16 Dance the Waltz of Intimacy
STEP 3: ADDRESS YOUR SPECIFIC STEPCOUPLE CHALLENGES
17 Manage Insider/Outsider Issues
18 Tame Your Partner’s Green-Eyed Monster
19 Construct Healthy Boundaries
20 Balance Power in Your Relationship
21 Further Steps
Experienced therapist and stepmother Katz advises those (re)marrying with children. Her message is simple: settle for less than perfect, and you will be happier. Katz explores the myths of supposedly ideal blended families, in which all children happily accept new family structures, and adults are all on great terms, eagerly spending time with one another . . . Because of many examples drawn from her therapeutic work, readers will likely identify themselves in these pages and come away with new ideas for reducing conflict in their homes.— Booklist
This is the book every remarried couple with children needs to read. Rachelle Katz explains why nearly two thirds of all second marriages ultimately fail, then gives readers the knowledge and tools they need to avoid becoming a statistic. If you've realized that love might not be enough and you're looking to create a rock-solid relationship--regardless of how complicated your stepfamily situation seems--The Happy Stepcouple is for you. — Brenda Ockun, Founder and Publisher, StepMom Magazine, StepMomMagazine.com
The Happy Stepcouple tackles head on the challenges facing stepfamilies. Packed with practical advice, case examples, exercises, it provides readers with a toolbox of skills to repair and enhance their relationships. Highly recommended.— Robert Taibbi, LCSW, author of "Doing Couple Therapy: Craft & Creativity in Work with Intimate Partners"
Filled with relatable stories and evidence-based strategies, The Happy Stepcouple is a comprehensive guide to transforming your relationship. As a psychotherapist and a stepmom herself, Katz offers a unique perspective on the biggest challenges facing stepcouples. Katz provides practical steps that you and your partner can take to improve your relationship. A real game-changer for stepcouples and their stepfamilies!
— Elizabeth Mosaidis, Author of "The Stepmom Project"
Creating a happy, thriving stepfamily can take real work. As Rachelle Katz shows in The Happy Stepcouple, many of the common, practical challenges are complicated by unrealistic expectations for stepfamily bliss, differences in the emotional attachment style of the adults, and communication habits that can undermine love and security just when it’s needed most. Viewing the stepcouple relationship through an attachment theory lens, the Happy Stepcouple helps partners manage the emotions, expectations and influences that can threaten harmony at home. Based on Katz’s own experience as a stepmother, her work counseling other stepmothers in her psychotherapy practice, and primary research, The Happy Stepcouple is a valuable tool for married and living-together partners with children from previous relationships, who find themselves struggling for more agreement, security and joy.
— Wendy Paris, Author of "Splitopia: Dispatches from Today's Good Divorce and How to Part Well"
The Happy Stepcouple is packed with practical and realistic solutions, helpful exercises for stepcouples, and so much more. I highly recommend you buy it, read it, and share it with a stepcouple.
— Bobbi Wilcox, Author, Registered Psychotherapist, and President of Blended Families United
Creating and maintaining a healthy stepcouple life is about more than merely project-managing thorny schedules and logistics. It’s also about acknowledging and tending to each partner’s needs and expectations. That’s a more perilous path to travel, but in The Happy Stepcouple, Dr. Rachelle Katz guides these couples around the deep pitfalls of their restructured lives with practical tools, expert insight, and intense compassion, ultimately steering them to a place of mutual respect and true joy.
— Joel Schwartzberg, Author of "The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad" and "Get to the Point! Sharpen Your Message and Make Your Words Matter"
Insightful. Practical. On target advice for stepfamily homes. This book will help you pursue unity and overcome obstacles unique to stepcouple relationships.
— Ron L. Deal, Author of the bestselling book "The Smart Stepfamily," President of SmartStepfamilies.com