One of the most influential variables in human development is social relationships. Cultivating Emotional Intelligence: The 5 Habits of the Emotion Coach centers on how educators may build and use positive relationships with their students to help them grow in emotional intelligence. Additionally, this book seeks to answer the question, “What is the end goal of growing emotionally intelligent students? Is it a matter of understanding oneself and other’s emotions? Or is the goal simply to produce “good citizens”?
As humans, we desire connection with others. And while most connections remain surface level, this book investigates how teachers can make a deeper connection with students for the purpose of growing emotional intelligence and teaching positive social skills. If educators are going to do so, it will be necessary to reframe traditional school practices that focus on promoting positive behaviors through a discipline system based upon consequences that fail to address the behavior in a redemptive manner.
Dr. Michael G. Hylen currently serves as the coordinator of doctoral studies and associate professor of education at Southern Wesleyan University. Prior to joining the higher education ranks, he enjoyed a 25-year career in K-12 education where his most extensive work was as an alternative high school principal for students who struggled in traditional school settings.
Chapter 1. Introduction
About the Book
The Journey: Why Emotion Coaching
Failure is Not an Option: It’s Not Just About the Five R’s
Can We Truly Teach Emotions and Character? Aristotle Thought So
Chapter 2. Understanding Emotional Intelligence and Behaviors
Emotional Intelligence: what is it and why is it important?
The Impact Parents, Teachers, and Other Adults Have on our EQ Development
The Ultimate Goal: Emotional Intimacy
Bonding and the Role of the Teacher
Chapter 3. Self-awareness, Society, and Growing Emotional Intelligence
What’s Wrong with Me? Why Should I Care?
The Importance of Self-awareness
Culture and Definitions: Their Impact on EQ
Chapter 4. Teaching and Cultivating Emotional Intelligence
Teaching andComing to a Frightening Conclusion
It’s Not Fair! The Importance of How We Define Fairness
Rigid Equality or Restorative Justice
Chapter 5. Reframing Our Perspectives
The Dismissive Response
The Disapproving Response
The Laissez-Faire Response
The Emotion Coaching Approach
When Emotion Coaching is Not Appropriate
Chapter 6. Habit 1: Cultivating Trust
What Do We Mean When We Talk About Trust?
The Power of Self-trust
Chapter 7. Habit 2: Awareness of Student Emotions
The Second Part of the Process
Students Who Repress or Suppress Emotions
What About Students Who Are Overly Expressive with Emotions?
And What About Civility?
Chapter 8. Habit 3: Listening with Empathy
What More Can Be Said about Empathy?
Listening with Empathy
Empathy vs Sympathy: What Difference Does It Make?
Chapter 9. Habit 4: Labeling Emotions
Labeling versus Telling
Understanding the Intensity Levels of Emotions
How Does Helping Label Compare with Affect Labeling
Wrapping It All Up
Chapter 10. Habit 5: Problem Solving
First Things First: Setting Limits
Next Steps: Identifying Goals
Problem Solving: Finding a Positive Solution
About the Author
Dr. Hylen’s book on emotion coaching is exactly what is needed NOW—by teachers, parents, and even employers. The beauty of emotion coaching is the permission it grants for those being coached to work through their own emotional responses and problem-solving. Dr. Hylen’s suggested strategies are time-tested, practical, and empowering to building healthy relationships. It’s a must-read book, especially in a time when we need healing in relationships.
Dr. Hylen’s book on how to become an emotion coach should be on the night table of every parent and every educator. As a parent, I would have loved to have this tool while raising my kids—it is actually the instructional manual no one provides us with. As an educator, it is a powerful tool to use all day, every day with your students. It is a must have for both.