Suddenly Single After 50

The Girlfriends' Guide to Navigating Loss, Restoring Hope, and Rebuilding Your Life

Barbara Ballinger and Margaret Crane

A stressful, protracted divorce. A difficult, painful death of a beloved husband. And suddenly, after age 50, you’re on your own again. Your children have moved out, your parents are aging fast or deceased, your friends’ lives continue onward, seemingly unchanged. Being suddenly single after age 50 can be terrifying, but eventually it can also be liberating. It can be fraught with worry and decisions you’re unprepared initially to make, but it can also be a time to reevaluate, reestablish, and reinvent. It can be financially and emotionally unstable at times, but it can be the start of a new chapter, or the discovery of someone you didn’t know you were, or could become, after the grief of a loss so difficult.

Long-time friends and authors Barbara Ballinger and Margaret Crane have a lot in common. Both lived in the same city for years. Both are writers. Both married their husbands right out of college. Both are mothers of grown children who have left home. And both had aging parents when these difficult journeys began. Both found themselves alone, husbands lost to divorce and death, two separate situations that were equally traumatic— for Barbara, a divorce that took four years to end, and for Margaret, a five-year, gut-wrenching siege of myriad cancers that ended in death.

Barbara and Margaret struggled but discovered not only that their new lives were, indeed, worth living, but that the insight gleaned from their experiences could help other people in similar straits. The result is Suddenly Single After 50, an honest and riveting, yet funny and poignant guide that provides advice for those who find themselves divorced, widowed, or otherwise suddenly single just about the time they start getting those AARP cards in the mail and while many of their friends are gleefully discussing retirement plans and toasting milestone wedding anniversaries.

Suddenly Single After 50 is told with authenticity, wit, and compassion. They discuss living alone, attending social events alone, eating by themselves, sleeping alone, walking and traveling alone, then how they also came to feel they were not alone, not really, with loyal friends and family. They share how their once right-sized houses suddenly felt empty, too big, and too full of stuff that no longer made sense. They write about all the legal and accounting woes that befell them. And they tell readers what it’s like to be over 50 and dating again—after decades out of that scene, which had changed in unfathomable yet often hilarious ways. Suddenly Single After 50 addresses what life is really like when it’s suddenly shaped as single. It helps readers understand the grief, frustration, and sadness alongside reawakening into the world. Anyone who finds themselves suddenly single in middle age and beyond--or knows someone who is--will find in these pages both advice and reflection, support, and a way forward.

Rowman & Littlefield Publishers

Pages: 212 • Trim: 6¼ x 9¼

978-1-4422-5652-1 • Hardback • July 2016 • $50.00 • (£38.00)

978-1-4422-5653-8 • eBook • July 2016 • $47.50 • (£37.00)

Subjects: Self-Help / Aging, Self-Help / Personal Growth / Happiness, Family & Relationships / Life Stages / Later Years

Suddenly Single After 50

The Girlfriends' Guide to Navigating Loss, Restoring Hope, and Rebuilding Your Life

Hardback

eBook

Summary

A stressful, protracted divorce. A difficult, painful death of a beloved husband. And suddenly, after age 50, you’re on your own again. Your children have moved out, your parents are aging fast or deceased, your friends’ lives continue onward, seemingly unchanged. Being suddenly single after age 50 can be terrifying, but eventually it can also be liberating. It can be fraught with worry and decisions you’re unprepared initially to make, but it can also be a time to reevaluate, reestablish, and reinvent. It can be financially and emotionally unstable at times, but it can be the start of a new chapter, or the discovery of someone you didn’t know you were, or could become, after the grief of a loss so difficult.

Long-time friends and authors Barbara Ballinger and Margaret Crane have a lot in common. Both lived in the same city for years. Both are writers. Both married their husbands right out of college. Both are mothers of grown children who have left home. And both had aging parents when these difficult journeys began. Both found themselves alone, husbands lost to divorce and death, two separate situations that were equally traumatic— for Barbara, a divorce that took four years to end, and for Margaret, a five-year, gut-wrenching siege of myriad cancers that ended in death.

Barbara and Margaret struggled but discovered not only that their new lives were, indeed, worth living, but that the insight gleaned from their experiences could help other people in similar straits. The result is Suddenly Single After 50, an honest and riveting, yet funny and poignant guide that provides advice for those who find themselves divorced, widowed, or otherwise suddenly single just about the time they start getting those AARP cards in the mail and while many of their friends are gleefully discussing retirement plans and toasting milestone wedding anniversaries.

Suddenly Single After 50 is told with authenticity, wit, and compassion. They discuss living alone, attending social events alone, eating by themselves, sleeping alone, walking and traveling alone, then how they also came to feel they were not alone, not really, with loyal friends and family. They share how their once right-sized houses suddenly felt empty, too big, and too full of stuff that no longer made sense. They write about all the legal and accounting woes that befell them. And they tell readers what it’s like to be over 50 and dating again—after decades out of that scene, which had changed in unfathomable yet often hilarious ways. Suddenly Single After 50 addresses what life is really like when it’s suddenly shaped as single. It helps readers understand the grief, frustration, and sadness alongside reawakening into the world. Anyone who finds themselves suddenly single in middle age and beyond--or knows someone who is--will find in these pages both advice and reflection, support, and a way forward.

Details

Rowman & Littlefield Publishers

Pages: 212 • Trim: 6¼ x 9¼

978-1-4422-5652-1 • Hardback • July 2016 • $50.00 • (£38.00)

978-1-4422-5653-8 • eBook • July 2016 • $47.50 • (£37.00)

Subjects: Self-Help / Aging, Self-Help / Personal Growth / Happiness, Family & Relationships / Life Stages / Later Years

Author

Barbara Ballinger is an award-winning wordsmith who has interviewed a variety of celebrities and experts while covering such diverse topics as business, design, real estate, architecture, entertaining and food, law, and personal finance. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including the Chicago Tribune, House Beautiful, the New York Times, National Association of Realtors ®. and MultiFamily Executive. Barbara blogs at WhyThatMuch and The Bare Root, and speaks at conferences and on various media, including “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and “The Nancy Glass Radio Show.” She and co-author Margaret wrote their first book together about family business, Corporate Bloodlines: The Future of The Family Firm. Barbara’s most recent book before Suddenly Single After 50 was written with garden expert Michael Glassman, The Garden Bible: Designing your perfect outdoor space.

Margaret Crane is a nationally-known freelance writer focusing on business, food, wine, finance, real estate, and home furnishings. She has interviewed such luminaries as Virginia Johnson, Jack Buck, Dr. Benjamin Spock, Moshe Dayan, Shimon Peres, Tippi Hedren, Sally Quinn, and many more. Most recently she worked as a senior writer and researcher for a large Midwestern nonprofit. Her work has appeared in a wide variety of publications, including the New York Times, Midwest Living, Newsweek, and The Wine Spectator.With more than a half dozen titles to her credit, Margaret’s latest book is The Kitchen Bible. In addition, she writes and maintains the weekly blog, lifelessonsat50plus, with co-author Barbara.

Table of Contents

Foreword by Sherre Hirsch, Rabbi and author of Thresholds: How to Thrive Through Life’s Transitions to Live Fearlessly and Regret- Free and We Plan, God Laughs: What to do When Life Hits you Over the Head
Introduction: Two Friends: A Parallel Journey
1: Love Struck
2: Hell above Ground
3: Missing Married Life
4: Self-Preservation
5: Show Me the Money
6: Yikes! I Have to do What Now?
7: Home Sweet Home?
8: It Takes a Community
9: Suddenly Single
10: But Who’s Counting?
11: Remodeling Yourself
12: Home on the Range
13: Single and Planning for Perpetuity
14: The Elephant in the Room: What about S-E-X?
Epilogue: Broken Parts and Hearts Together Again

Reviews

Barbara Ballinger and Margaret Crane wrote such a book and called it Suddenly Single After 50: The Girlfriends’ Guide to Navigating Loss, Restoring Hope, and Rebuilding Your Life. It could have been called Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Your Newly Single Life After 50, But Were Afraid to Ask.... Suddenly Single [is] riveting. It is funny, wise, and practical, and it is written with a lot of heart.... The self-help parts were both quirky and satisfying. They mostly took the form of lists of hard-earned wisdom scattered throughout the book. These weren’t boring, predictable listicles, but personal and thoughtful observations.... [L]ifelong single people who read Suddenly Single will feel proud of themselves, never having realized that they deserve special credit for all that they’ve accomplished in their lives.
— Psych Central

The book itself is part self-help, part-memoir, though the authors carefully meld other people’s stories into the mix, along with advice from therapists, financial planners, attorneys and physicians. The result is highly readable, very informative and in some cases, pretty darn funny.... [Suddenly Single After 50] is chock-full of colorful anecdotes and useful advice.
— St. Louis Jewish Light

Suddenly single in mid-life if that’s not what you had planned, can be shocking, and this book demonstrates how you can make life work after you find yourself single without warning. One of the authors became single after divorce, and the other after widowhood. As with so many of these books, if you don’t know where to begin, it’s a place to start if only a beginning. The authors have been there and done that, and honestly, calmly, compassionately, share their authentic experiences in a way that may help the next person enduring the same situation deal with it a little better. Suddenly Single After 50 won’t solve a divorce or a widow’s problems, but it will make them feel a little less confused and alone, and will help them figure out a few first steps to get back on their feet.... I would recommend it to someone in distress who needs a boost.
— The Advice Sisters: Beauty, Fashion, Lifestyle, Trend, Advice

[Suddenly Single After 50is] much more personal than you [would] expect.
— Head Butler

Suddenly Single After 50 is witty, poignant, and chock full of solid advice garnered through personal experience.
— Forever Young

Suddenly Single After 50 is an engaging, funny, and honest tale of two women's sudden entrée into single life, one after divorce and the other after widowhood. Barbara Ballinger and Margaret Crane offer plenty of practical advice along with their stories. The authors have tons of insight and a lot of heart.
— Bella DePaulo, PhD, author of How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century and Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

Losing a spouse through death or divorce is one of the most devastating events women face in their 50s, 60s, and beyond. Suddenly Single After 50 provides savvy, brutally honest, and good humored advice to women who have reluctantly joined the sorority of singlehood. With lively writing and practical tips on everything from on-line dating to hiring a good tax accountant, Barbara Ballinger and Margaret Crane provide a roadmap for starting over and discovering unexpected joys after long-term marriages end.
— Deborah Carr, professor of Sociology, Rutgers University; Editor-in-Chief, Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences (2015-18)

Suddenly Single After 50 is a must read for anyone who has lost a long time spouse. Neither Barbara nor Margaret ever thought they’d be single at this time in their life. Their stories of surviving loss and grief, figuring out how old friends still fit into their lives, trying to find love again, dealing with aging parents, will make you laugh and cry. This book is like having a girlfriend right there with you who has felt your pain and gives you hope that one day all will be different but ok again.
— Lisa Copeland, Dating Coach for Women over 50 at www.findaqualityman.com

"Oh no, no," I screamed as I heard the horrific and shocking news of my husband's untimely death. At age 46, in less than a minute, I became a widow. Suddenly Single After 50 answers your most important question, "What am I going to do now?" Written with wit and honesty, this book guides you through the trials and tribulations of being single after 50. You will acquire knowledge on how to embrace your personal situation and become the heroine of your new life story. Trust me, I know, darlings!
— Susan (Honey) Good, founder of honeygood.com; weekly contributor to the Huffington Post and the Sun Times Network