Balancing the Big Stuff

Finding Happiness in Work, Family, and Life

Miriam Liss and Holly H. Schiffrin - Foreword by Brigid Schulte

While the current conversation about work-family balance and “having it all” tends to focus on women, both men and women are harmed when conditions make it impossible to balance meaningful work with family life. Yet, both will benefit from re-evaluating what it means to have it all and fighting for changes in their relationships and society to make greater equality possible. Here, Miriam Liss and Holly Hollomon Schiffrin discuss the ways in which we all define “having it all” and how we can obtain it for ourselves through a better evaluation of what we want from ourselves, our families, our jobs, and each other. Determining a 50/50 division of labor around the house may not be the thing that works for everyone. Working from home or not at all may not be the thing to bring us satisfaction, but learning what studies show and how to feel balanced and make those decisions to bring balance is crucial.

The authors argue that people can find balance in their roles by doing things in moderation. Although being engaged in both parenting and work is good for well-being, people can avoid the pitfalls of over-parenting and over-working. They show that balance can come from a meaningful consideration of what happiness and contentedness mean to us as individuals, and how best to achieve our goals within the limitations of our current circumstances. They illustrate that balance is not simply an individual problem. Social issues such as the lack of parental leave, flexible work schedules, and affordable, high quality child care make balance difficult. With attention now on the issue, they argue that it’s time men and women advocate for better services and better opportunities to achieve balance, happiness, and success in all their roles.

Rowman & Littlefield Publishers

Pages: 264 • Trim: 5¾ x 9

978-0-8108-9564-5 • Paperback • November 2017 • $36.00 • (£30.00)

978-1-4422-2336-3 • eBook • August 2014 • $34.00 • (£25.00)

Subjects: Family & Relationships / General, Family & Relationships / Life Stages / General, Family & Relationships / Parenting / General

Balancing the Big Stuff

Finding Happiness in Work, Family, and Life

Paperback

eBook

Summary

While the current conversation about work-family balance and “having it all” tends to focus on women, both men and women are harmed when conditions make it impossible to balance meaningful work with family life. Yet, both will benefit from re-evaluating what it means to have it all and fighting for changes in their relationships and society to make greater equality possible. Here, Miriam Liss and Holly Hollomon Schiffrin discuss the ways in which we all define “having it all” and how we can obtain it for ourselves through a better evaluation of what we want from ourselves, our families, our jobs, and each other. Determining a 50/50 division of labor around the house may not be the thing that works for everyone. Working from home or not at all may not be the thing to bring us satisfaction, but learning what studies show and how to feel balanced and make those decisions to bring balance is crucial.

The authors argue that people can find balance in their roles by doing things in moderation. Although being engaged in both parenting and work is good for well-being, people can avoid the pitfalls of over-parenting and over-working. They show that balance can come from a meaningful consideration of what happiness and contentedness mean to us as individuals, and how best to achieve our goals within the limitations of our current circumstances. They illustrate that balance is not simply an individual problem. Social issues such as the lack of parental leave, flexible work schedules, and affordable, high quality child care make balance difficult. With attention now on the issue, they argue that it’s time men and women advocate for better services and better opportunities to achieve balance, happiness, and success in all their roles.

Details

Rowman & Littlefield Publishers

Pages: 264 • Trim: 5¾ x 9

978-0-8108-9564-5 • Paperback • November 2017 • $36.00 • (£30.00)

978-1-4422-2336-3 • eBook • August 2014 • $34.00 • (£25.00)

Subjects: Family & Relationships / General, Family & Relationships / Life Stages / General, Family & Relationships / Parenting / General

Author

Miriam Liss is professor of psychology at the University of Mary Washington. She is a clinical psychologist and is widely published in the areas of feminism, division of labor, and parenting as well as in the areas of autism and developmental disorders. Her articles have been published in numerous psychology journals including Psychology of Women Quarterly, Sex Roles, Journal of Child and Family Studies, Autism, and the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences. She has also presented her research at the American Psychological Association and Association for Psychological Science meetings. She has been interviewed for her work on intensive and attachment parenting for the Washington Post, MSNBC.com, and Live Science. She was recently named one of Princeton Review’s Best 300 Professors.

Holly H. Schiffrin, associate professor of psychology at the University of Mary Washington, specializes in child development, parenting practices, and early intervention. She has had several articles published in professional journals. In addition, she has given numerous presentations at conferences. Schiffrin recently served as president of the Virginia Academic and Applied Psychologist Academy of the Virginia Psychological Association. She has been interviewed about her research on several radio programs across the nation as well as interviewed for articles on parenting and well-being in Time.com, various newspapers, and local parenting magazines.

Table of Contents

1– The Search for Balance
2 – Balancing Multiple Roles
3 – Balance as a Parent
4 – Balance at Work
5 – Balance is for Both Men and Women: Challenging Gender Stereotypes
6 – Balance at Home
7 – Societal Barriers to Balance
8 – Beyond Balance: Finding Happiness and Meaning
9 – Balance and Beyond: Finding the Sweet Spot

Reviews

Written smoothly and descriptively by psychologists Miriam Liss and Holly H. Schiffrin, Balancing the Big Stuff is a road map to the 'Good Life.'
— SUCCESS

[T]he book is heavily research-based and contains extensive notation for further reading. It is . . . approachable for non-academics.
— Free-Lance Star

Balancing the Big Stuff offers a very readable guide on how to simplify and enrich life in those areas where we need it most, providing anecdotes about working parents, stay-at-home moms (and dads), and single parents. Supported by pertinent research, the authors offer up concrete suggestions about parenting, work, division of household chores and activities that can further enhance happiness and meaning in one's life. But it's not just up to individuals to make balance more attainable — long-term systemic changes are also needed in challenging gender stereotypes, establishing flexible leave policies, eliminating the gender wage gap and providing affordable childcare to all Americans.
— Daily Press, Newport News, Virginia

Balancing the Big Stuffoffers an important critique of doing it all and offers compelling suggestions for better prioritizing time use to maximize individual and family happiness. Written by psychologists, it offers different perspectives, complementing the vast body of extant sociological literature on the topic. It would be an excellent springboard for book club discussions, undergraduate courses, and graduate courses seeking to offer guidance on balancing life as well as an understanding of the social-structural complexities involved. In a seminar style course the suggestions offered might best be discussed in the context of for whom they work, under which set of circumstances. That might spur consideration of the ways society might address work-life balance more broadly.
— Sex Roles: A Journal of Research

It's rare that I read a book and wish that I had written it. Liss and Schiffrin have penned the definitive book on work-life balance—an elegant blend of engaging stories, illuminating examples, and cutting-edge empirical evidence. If you read Lean In and want to dig deeper into the complex terrain of the pitfalls and joys of achieving work-life (or any kind of) balance, this book is for you.
— Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor of Psychology, University of California; author of The Myths of Happiness, and The How of Happiness

Miriam Liss and Holly Schiffrin have written a wise guide to negotiating the complexities of modern life. Balancing the Big Stuff provides actionable recommendations based on up-to-the-minute results from some of the best research in contemporary psychology. This book is for anyone who finds modern life just a little too hard to manage.
— Barry Schwartz, professor of psychology, Swarthmore College; author of The Paradox of Choice and Practical Wisdom