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The Disappearing Male

Joan Lachkar

The Disappearing Male by Joan Lachkar, PhD, provides a psychoanalytic/psychodynamic description of eight different kinds of men who “disappear” from relationships without warning or explanation. The term is not restricted to merely a “physical” disappearance but also to ones who emotionally disappear such as the “Robotic Man” described in the chapter of the OCD. Lachkar’s personal, clinical, and professional experience have shown a number of women who have been vastly confused and hurt by the disappearing male. These men appear to be madly in love at the onset and then suddenly vanish without an explanation. Many of these women come into therapy sessions depressed, feeling traumatized, and abused by men who promise them the world, act as though they are the love of their lives, and then suddenly vanish without a call. By acknowledging the diagnostic distinctions of eight different types of disappearing men, this book can help to assist these women in recognizing the red flags and danger signs to prevent them from faltering in their relationship efforts. The Disappearing Male describes the symptoms of eight different diagnostic types of men that women frequently encounter. The symptoms and dynamics that are outlined in this book will vastly enhance an individual’s capacity to become aware of the disappearing male “syndrome.” This book is significant to the awareness and self-esteem of women in relationships, the dating world, and to the therapists that treat them. « less more »
Jason Aronson, Inc.
Pages: 204Size: 6 1/4 x 9 3/8
978-0-7657-0909-7 • Hardback • December 2012 • $75.00 • (£49.95)
978-0-7657-0910-3 • eBook • December 2012 • $71.00 • (£47.95)
Joan Lachkar, Ph.D., is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Sherman Oaks, California. She is an affiliate member of the New Center for Psychoanalysis, and the author of The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple: Psychoanalytic Perspective on Marital Treatment; The Many Faces of Abuse: Treating the Emotional Abuse of High-Functioning Women; The V-Spot; How to Talk to a Narcissist; and How to Talk to a Borderline. Dr. Lachkar is also a psychohistorian, and has published numerous articles on marital and political conflict in the Journal of Psychohistory, Frontpage, and Family Security Matters. Publications include The Psychopathology of Terrorism, a paper for the Rand Corporation.




Chapter 1 Overview of The Disappearing Male

Chapter 2 Theoretical Framework

Chapter 3 The Disappearing Narcissist

Chapter 4 The Disappearing Borderline

Chapter 5 The Disappearing Schizoid

Chapter 6 The Disappearing Obsessive Compulsive

Chapter 7 The Disappearing Passive Aggressive

Chapter 8 The Disappearing Depressive

Chapter 9 The Disappearing Cross-Cultural Man

Chapter 10 The Disappearing Woman

Chapter 11 Treatment Techniques, Approaches

Epilogue: Closing Thoughts




About the Author

Joan Lachkar's magnificent new book discusses all nationalities, across which all men disappear, especially in Muslim and Japanese cultures where men's roles with women are restricted at all times.

Lloyd deMause, editor of The Journal of Psychohistory

Dr. Lachkar shows that Kipling's famous adage, ‘East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet’ is crucially important in treating patients of non-Western backgrounds and especially cross-cultural couples. She shows that empathic understanding of Asian or Middle Eastern cultures is so important in successful outcomes of their treatments.

Peter Berton, University of Southern California, Emeritus, and New Center for Psychoanalysis in Los Angeles, Emeritus

Dr. Lachkar does it again! She addresses an issue hardly mentioned in the analytic literature, the plight of the disappearing male and the women who love and are traumatized by them. This book is unique and is suitable for all mental health professionals, including the most seasoned. The concept of ‘disappearing’ tackles the difficult terrain of dissociation where one can be physically present but not emotionally there, creating confusing, frustrating, and upsetting moments of interaction. This book contains the road maps to engage those who are disengaged.

Nancy Kobrin, author of Banality of Suicide