Add to GoodReads

Insatiable Wives

Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them

David J. Ley

This enlightening work investigates the history, incidence, and causes of a unique sexual lifestyle pursued by increasing numbers of couples. It is called by many names, and lived in a variety of ways by different couples. The most common terms used to describe it are 'hotwife' or 'cuckold lifestyle.' This sexual practice, a form of sexual nonmonogamy, is distinguished from swinging and polyamory in that the husband rarely seeks sexual contact outside the marriage except for participation in group sex with his wife and other men, while the wife is permitted and often encouraged to pursue unrestrained sexual encounters with other men. The author includes interviews and comments from couples living the lifestyle throughout the U.S., and presents the stories in an attempt to determine the history of this sexual practice and its role in society and in relationships. He explores the psychological, social, biological, and evolutionary underpinnings of this uncommon and socially taboo behavior in an effort to make it more comprehensible to those engaged in the lifestyle and those who are just curious. « less more »
Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Pages: 312Size: 5 3/4 x 9
978-1-4422-0031-9 • Paperback • January 2012 • $18.95 • (£12.95)
978-1-4422-0032-6 • eBook • December 2009 • $17.99 • (£11.95)
David J. Ley, Jr. is a Clinical Psychologist in practice in Albuquerque, NM. He is Executive Director of New Mexico Solutions and Director of Clinical Development at River Valley Consulting.
1 Introduction
2 Birds and Horns
3 Monogamy and Marriage
4 Women, Wives and Femail Sexuality
5 Alternatives to Monogamy
6 Insatiable Wives Throughout History
7 Wife Sharing in Literature and Film
8 Fetish and Fantasy
9 This is No Easy Ride
10 A Wild New World of Wife Sharing
11 Fecund Fluids
12 Madonna or Whore
13 Endnotes
14 Selected Bibliography
Consensual nonmonogamy is bursting out of the closet, gaining wider attention from therapists, researchers and the larger public. One particular kind of nonmonogamy, the hotwife/cuckold dynamic, shows how some people express and explore their sexuality by taking a less-trodden path. This book serves as a great introduction – not just in providing some important basic information and a meaningful context, but by emotionally accompanying the reader who might be taking their first intellectual steps in understanding the hotwife / cuckold dynamic or understanding consensual nonmonogamous sexuality in successful long-term relationships.
Richard A. Sprott, Ph.D., executive director of CARAS (Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities); co-author, Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities

What is most compelling is not the sexual titillation, found aplenty in this book, but being taken along on Dr. Ley's clinical journey, exploring controversial aspects of sexuality.
Carole Lieberman, M.D., M.P.H., Psychiatrist and Bestselling Author of Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live with Them, and When to Leave Them

Well-written and thoroughly researched, Ley's survey of an evolving marriage lifestyle highlights qualities vital to any relationship, especially honest and consistent communication.
Publishers Weekly


Insatiable Wives is an intimate, erudite exploration of the "hotwives" or "cuckold" phenomenon.... The book is well-written and well-researched.... It's engaging enough to be a "beach book" (the cover will get you some odd looks from the next towel over) and substantive enough to serve as an excellent sexological resource after you've shaken the sand from its pages.
Contemporary Sexuality

Ley has written a valuable and important book. Regardless of what your values and preferences may be, this book is thoroughly engrossing and impressive in its thoughtful, disciplined, informative approach. Western culture and psychological theories have led us to think that no man will tolerate his wife having sex with other men, but this book shows that in fact such practices have existed across cultural and historical boundaries. Some men not only tolerate but positively enjoy the amorous adventures of their wives. The mixture of history and science, anecdote, and interview makes this a truly remarkable book. Anyone interested in the range and breadth of human sexual activity, whether from personal curiosity or professional interest, will find this well-written and carefully researched book to be enlightening and entertaining.
Roy F. Baumeister, professor of psychology, Florida State University

Very informative and is suitable for individuals interested in the topic of sexuality and the history of sexuality.
Metapsychology Online Reviews